Your Weapon is your Walk

We’ve been talking about the margins, and the waiting game many of us are facing: the hardships, the disappointments, and the downright chaos that life has been tossing.

I think God is saying Girls, it’s time to Pick up your Skirt and Walk. Remember that story? that time when Jesus when up to the guy that was laying disabled for years by the Healing Pool. Jesus learned he had been in that condition for years. He even asks him, “Do you want to get well?” And the guy goes on to explain all the reasons he can’t “I have no one to help me get into the people. When I am trying, someone else goes down in front of me.” Does this self-talk sound familiar? I was tripping this morning reading this and hearing myself. How much I blame other people’s success or being prioritized for why I’m not walking in the fullness of what I’ve hoped for. But how crazy Jesus in this story literally doesn’t even really respond to what he says, he just says, Pick up your mat and walk. And Catch this, the guy just does it “And once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.” (Jn 5:6-9)

There’s something about when you get a real word from God, that’s tailor made for you, that releases the power to do it. T here’s something about hearing a word that makes it real.

I think God is saying to us as women, who are discouraged, who are feeling defeated right now. He’s saying girls, it’s time to pick up your skirt and walk.

There are all these reasons Why not, why you feel disqualified, why you feel like “It’s always going to be this way.”

But Today, Holy Spirit wants to activate you, to start Walking. To start stepping, to start going towards the things that bring you life. He wants to outdo your expectations but its starts with you.

Your Victory is in your walk.

It’s out of this margin that you’ll get your greatest weapon. Your weapon is your walk.

I dare you try it. Walk like you got it going on. If you feel pathetic or lousy, or low self-worth—Maybe you came out of a break uMaybe it’s been a long time since you’ve been on a date. Maybe you are feeling unfulfilled in a job. But girls and guys, Do something to make you feel gorgeous, to make you feel like a stud.

Get to your happy place. Do a simple act today that makes you feel in love. Put an outfit on that makes you feel like a stud. It’s crazy how these small acts that nurture us can elevate our whole day.

And watch what happens, as you start walking with your vibe, with your triumphant attitude back, watch how your perspective changes.. Watch while the things that were bumming you out start to dissipate. Watch as the negative thoughts that were creeping in start to become irrelevant. Watch as the conflict that kept you on edge somehow doesn’t bother you as much. Because when you give yourself permission to do you, when you start to get that kickass spirit back, it releases the power of who you are. God wants you in your glory. This is how you come into your Victory. This is how we stir up faith.

Because it’s movement that starts to attract favor, and our attitude changing: our own thoughts start to believe again.
So this is my assignment for the week. Pick up your skirt and Walk. Walk toward what brings you life, Walk like your breakthrough is on it’s way. Walk like your daring God and daring that promise.

And watch the shifts that start to happen.

He wants to outdo what you can do

What if what was lost must be found?
What if this stall is not really a stall but an entry point to the very thing you desire? That somehow this trial, this long standing stall is actually the very gateway to your victory?

I know you may be holding on in some margin, I know you may be feeling starved of flow in life or living in a sticky and fragile place of survival… but what if out of this very margin will come the sweetest breakthrough of your life.
Sometimes out of our most lousy seasons of life can come the best turnarounds.

After all, that’s one of God’s favorite things is to flip things.
What if God wants to trade you: to take that heavy thing— that knot of a relationship, or maybe its your entire season of feeling stalled, or any way you are feeling hostage or are looping in your thoughts. He wants to take it and He wants to give you a Kickass Spirit that will outdo your expectations. God wants you in your zone and to be living in your Flow. He wants you to be crushing on your life, to be touching and a part of the things that bring you in your sweetness.

Let Him adore you.

He loves to talk to us as women, He is the Lover of our soul

So for this discouragement, this depression, this situation that is draining, he wants to trade you for His joy, for His presence, and for His sweetness. Like it says

Doting

You are so pleased.
You are so very pleased.
It was the morning her hand went up
Some holy tug,
the heavy thing that needed to go,
that ache that wanted to surrender.

But it was just one small yes,
when all your ways came opening
with your overwhelming pride,
how amazed You are in her
Like she is your biggest prize.
And all the little things she cherishes
You cherish too.
Who knew how much he was doting?

Suddenly Your heart
for her heaviness.
Like everything she needed
could be carried.
Without faking it and without trying
an oil of gladness
instead of the spirit of fainting.

You were this treasure chest
that was waiting,
This newness
and so for us.

Who knew the Lord was ready
With both hands?
Who knew He was so gentle—
that he knew us like that?
And that this could feel so sweet?

When you meet the one that’s been marveling
Who knew how much he fits?

Hawaii and elevating our thoughts.

Nephty and I came back from Hawaii with new expectations. We came back with comfort. There were so many kinks in our body and system but you slowly you removed all those things. You let them all roll off our back.

And how every where we went was beauty. How much you surrounded us and every corner and path was dosed with gorgeousness. You helped us release everything till we were found just in your satisfaction. Filled with your joy.

There was so much space and we felt so much honor.

“Surely the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places.” Psalm 16 was humming behind us.

But God, You started drawing us to this new word. This new dare. Like a Yes towards big dreams we’ve had. You started to speak to us about crazy possibilities. It was like this Abraham moment. Could it be Lord? Could we really have that dream manifest this year, take shape? Would You be that good?

We climbed up Mount Kea. It’s the highest point on earth, the closest to the sky. You could see the Milky Way with you eyes. And our tour guy got this picture, with a nebulous between our hands. This is an area where stars are born.
Here is this crazy picture of Nephty and I under this wide open night sky.
This is how I feel with Nephty.
How much being with Nephty has shifted everything—like I’ve started to experience this acceleration, this movement.

God You are making things new.
You are elevating our thoughts again about this year, even surpassing our expectations.
You are nurturing that promise.
We don’t always see what you see God.

When Joy comes out of trouble.

Sometimes when we’re in the deepest trouble of our life, facing the most severe let downs you show up with this glimmer of hope, with this peculiar kind comfort that defies our situation.

I was in the thick of cleaning my house, deep diving in Nephty’s old office throwing away his tossed stuff from even ten years ago. But when I got the call from Joy, she was in the hospital after her husband had left. She was on suicide watch. She had fallen into an overwhelm and she felt alone. I knew it was a night to leave the tangle of what I was buried in. It was a moment to be available. She was in need and we are new friends—we just started to work together.

I felt so beloved busting Joy out of the hospital and taking her home. She told me all about the trauma that just happened. I let her unfold it. Right as we were leaving the hospital was this fat rainbow, pushing through these dark clouds, this moody sky. “Look Joy, look! This rainbow is for you.”

Isn’t that so much how it goes sometimes?
How in the darkest moments you show up almost absurdly with joy. With this gust of promise to remind us that you’re there, that you’ve got our back. This rainbow poking through the darkness and mood of a troubled sky. Coming through almost obnoxiously.

I took her home and we decided to take a walk around her complex. There were lots of trees and we kept winding around. And as we strolled we marveled. We prayed. We laid out all the things. And somehow this hope began to infuse as we went. We started to claim a new story. It was like opening a door to another narrative. How simple the comfort was but how much it remained. We kept walking all the way to this little hole-in-the-wall sushi place that Joy loved.

By the time we got home it was like all that weight lifted. She told me how much it meant to her, and how it really felt real that things were going to be not only good but better.. God you are making things new this year. It’s like you give us these moments because you don’t want us to revert. Sometimes the mess in our life stays but you show up with these doses of life. You make us brim in our spirit.

God thank you that you are moving. God thank you that you are a comforter. You are opening new doors we never knew would come.

And your land will be married

I was hanging frames this morning, our wedding photos at last. I was caught off guard, in awe as I hold and put up these oversized pictures. It’s like putting up my promises that came to life. Adorning our empty walls with these pictures and seeing the joy piercing through the canvas brought everything back. I am enthralled as my walls now display of God’s most faithful drenching of his Love.
It was early in the morning and in quietness I heard God say “Your land will be married.” This is a phrase God says a few times in the Hebrew Scriptures, in this pursuit this love affair with His people.

What does it mean to be adored?

This is a word I used to carry
in hope and in emptiness. This was a word I returned to
And now this is the Word I have stepped into:

And you will be given you will be given a new name
by the Lord’s own mouth.
You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,
and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate.
But you will be called 'My Delight is in her,”
And your land will be married.
for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married.
As a young man marries a young woman,
so will your Builder marry you;
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.” - Isaiah‬ ‭62:2-5‬

Now this is my story, as I just got married almost a year ago and it was after decades of being devastated in my land. Then I came to the Lord in my mid-twenties and he became my beloved. the Lord was my man and my poems were like letters. But it was in this love with Jesus where he became my One. He showed me how to be loved for real and seen and treasured.

Then Nephty was right under my thumb; I worked with him and we became friends. He became my partner-in-crime at work. We felt this undercover assignment to be lighthouses at work. To pray when things got tough. And he started to really show up for me. He wanted to be with me in a way that no guy had stood for me. I realized he was my stud he was my One.
And within five months we were married.
So I am in a new territory. He helped heal my land, the landscape of my past— the ways that situations and guys had confiscated what was precious to me. I am in awe to have a husband who is so faithful and uplifts me.

I am learning what it’s like. It’s a real outpour. And your land will be married. God is ever doting.
And God brought me to Nephty who is amazing. He is my covering.
It’s unimaginable that I get to be the beloved.

I am excited to be starting this journey with Nephty. We are building now. And God is opening doors. We are gaining strength together. ‭‭‬‬

Rise and go, Your Faith has made you well.

I have felt like I'm on the verge for months.

There has been a push that has not exactly been pleasant.  There has been a hill against.
I have been grinding and meeting hills and that familiar up-against.
I ha e been in this season of feeling stalled, applying and not hearing back. Jobs that seem on hand, like I'm on the Tip.

Then with Overwhelm and anxiety at work.  Little glimpses of hope in people I network with or meet that go faint. 

Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee.

Jesus was heading somewhere important, to Jerusalem, somewhere he wanted to be. How odd he found himself between two juxtaposing places, set between opposing lands, Samaria and Galilee when the 10 lepers called out to him. They had need.  
Jesus heals them all, then says to the one that praised God.

Rise and Go, your faith has made you well.

What if it's not supposed to be Pretty

What if your need or state even if it's pathetic is the starting point.

The kingdom does always come with the proceeding sign that all is going well for us and how life doesn't always beckon with ease and good feelings or arrange good notions ahead of you, it's not about having the path laid down and pleasant vibe already.

Maybe the kingdom is not contained in the obvious signs of what most would call success. What if that's not the mark, that's not the proof.  
What if the kingdom has nothing to do
with having that winning streak to hang on to
or seeing your awesome outcome
ahead of you,
The sign or proof
of all your hard work
and dedication.

Don't relish in having ease set up before you

Rise and go, your faith has made you well.

What if as you go, and as that faith enters you
in the midst of things falling apart, or nothing happening, or chronic closed doors,

What if as you go it's you making that special faith that is ruthless,
That can only come when your at your lowest. 
It's a muscle it's a substance that God bestows on you.
When your heart and everything commands a clearing.

When your whole heart and womanhood
is set on the Lord.
So what if
 as you rise it's your faith
that substance
that returns everything to you.
That returns home to you

What if it's in the going in the rising up against the heavy oppressive thing
that releases God's healing

Where did it go?

Where did that anxiety go?

There is a new heart in our heart.

There was an exchange.

Like something dunked. 
Like all we could do was dunk.  

Like there had been a dead trunk.

There had been dryness. 
And gaps.

We went without. A simple thing
To deprive ourselves from food for a day. 
Done with trying
felt like we were prying with
now release or entry.
Dizzy from dead ends,
searching for some alleyway.
it was like making up the could-bes ....
but weren't were not getting us closer to our entries.
 

My heart was cold Lord.  My heart was not my heart. 
But then this lift. This lake like feeling.

 All the ways my life seem to patter.  All the strife that cut and battered.  Those little lies that batter.  That disconnect that shatters.  

But now I have this heart return.  Now you brought me into wide places.  now I have your darling dear.  Now I come like

Now I am not clutching. Now my team aplauds. How curious when we stepped down. When we stopped maintinging and got on our knees.  How heavy and what if it doesn't need to be.

I keep asking, keep waiting for that cringe.  But here I am cruising since Conference, I came home from work each day without that drop. Without that nasty exchange.  That familiar frantic, the part of me that falls away.

Don't miss that miracle.  It's subtle when you shift our world.  Suddenly we can see clearly.