What if this time

What if this time
you don’t let it cling to you. 
You don’t let it reside.
the frantic thing and
the let-downs that
could drown you,
could take you out,
would swallow you and your Love Ship
with its big mast
called and ready.

Just when you thought
you had a current,
a Wake,
a Flow that belonged to you,
a level that you thought
you struck
at last.

What if
when things start
breaking down again,
and chaos comes back,
when all your old reruns start showing up,
What if you’re not being dismantled
but being given a mantle?

What if this harshness
is a hinge to your authority?

When you take your last ounce of trust
but it lasts