Now I know

Now I know everything I said you underscored.  Those months of agony waiting, for a partner. For someone to understand my soliloquy.  
And how you were there in the backdrop.
Small comfort.  
Someone to dispatch.
And easy to talk to.
And wanting to hear me.
Tracking my stories.
Counting the things that I mentioned with weight.
 

It's the things you do with the gaps.
With the stretch marks. 
With things that are mounting.
And just when we think we are on the fringe.
And in our worst need. 
How wonderfully you knit us together.  
How beautifully you step down just to heed for us.

Sometimes our need is the real blessing.

How lucky are we, Nepthy and I came back from conference.
And Catia fractured her foot.
Skateboarding accident.  

And we could be there. 

How you put us where we need to be.  How you let us have hold ups.
How blessed we are to have need.  To be a place of outpost for Catia. 

Faith is a substance

Faith is a substance.  
When you feel hope your whole body fills.  
when Hope slips in it doesn't come in part.
Just a little hope and then when you fan on it. it goes all the way.
All it takes is
How you can fan on hope for hope to go all the way.
How you can fan on hope for hope to lift up everywhere.

How hope feels familiar
starts to own your everywhere.
Like a homecoming.
This exchange.

There is no residue with hope.  But just all the way feeling placed. When everything is met and known Feeling fit. Pleasant.

If faith is a substance what is this other shaft

This drain this chaos that starts charging.

When Hope is both weighted and light.

You have put seeds in me

You have put seeds in me.
To gather.

Now Together

It's not the stuff of poems
of tension
Or waiting at the gate.

The heaviness that followed me
and decades of disappointment
and declaring
Every chapter left hanging on an almost (led to almosts)
Poems were the way I waited.
For him. 
I needed poems to tell me again.

It was how I retrace.

How pleased I am. 
How brought to my man.

Now the goodness knits to me.
Like a pledge.
Like bread already baked.

My Last Chapter

I can’t believe a little over a year ago I was single. I relished in championing with my girls. I called myself a Lioness Leader. And I doted on this blog. Finding rhyme in the Lord and my lines as a woman. Here are the words I threw down.

Because it took just one glance just one look
to be remade.

Now I am ripe with poems and ridiculous things.  
I'm holding to your promises and you keep telling me to write.  And line by line I will trace you.  I will keep you 

And I will be at the right hand of your pleasure.
Learning how to avoid the clever things. The guys that would toy with me.  how to not collapse.  How to stay in your song. 

You say Lord, You say "The eyes of all look to you and you give them their food at the proper time.  You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing." (psalm 145)

"Take Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."  - Psalm 37:4

Of Extravagance

That is how you came not by raking or even aligning.  

it’s the heavenly currency. 

Praise in the portion. 

go right to the edge.  Meet me at the seam. 

Dunk in the dream in the king  

and put your ringf on it.  come like your thing

Badass Female Entrepreneurs

Calling all badass female entrepreneurs who want to activate joy in their business.  Who want to reign and receive the Overflow.       Empowering Presence.

Because You walk into the room

Now unfolding room
Now a banquet, 
Now my home.

Now this man who is all the way on my side. 
all the way giving.

All the way pleasing. 
All the way by my side.

All the way  

Now it is him who dotes me.  
Who needs me.
Who lets me.

It is you who sees me.
It is you who desires me. 

My love  

It is you who sees me, 
You who dotes on me, 
You who gets lit up.

It is you who sees me,
you who holds me,
You who holds me heart. 

When I thought I had missed it all

There were so many things that were tipping me.  

Someone who is there for me.  

When I mattered.

When he listened.

I Bring people into the Beloved

I help people on the edge and people in wanting step into their overflow.
 

The law of ripeness.  The law of when you find that edge. 
To not argue with the overcast. But let yourself bleed instead.

When I thought I was empty

When I thought I was empty. 

When I thought I was refrained.  He listened. And quieted.   

Now I am starting.   

And things that I wanted are startling to unlatch.   

My One

These last months you've woven us. You keep showing us and lavishing.   Adoring us and matching.  Unlatching all the Locked out things.  

He is my One who seeks me.  He is my strong one.   You took me out of being tattered.   It's like all we do is radiate.  
My heart in his.  My love he wins.  

How much the 

To be your One.  To be Together.
A tapestry you've lavished.   Our enthrall and joy that cannot be matched.

Once he saw a rope when we were friends and confidants.  A strong rope coming together. That could hold things up.  That could not be ripped.  That would strengthen. 
When you said We would Divide and Conquer us.  
When you gave us wild ways to walk together and to conquer, To give ourselves. 

We once saw a Dock.  And God taking us to our edge but to that sea of ideas and wonder.

I't the way you lavish us.  It's the way He lets me.  Always seeking me.  Always

If I could meet this moment

I want to meet this moment.   I want it to come and to pour. I am prizing the way the Lord is arranging the underscore.     I want to be here for this garden.  

I want to nurture.  I want to rest and Not regress. To be in stride.  In the Colors

In the Time.

Why this waiting?  

And why this halt?  
The job that seemed so almost.  
The life that wants to froth
That almost seems to come on top.  

But you have a plenty  
You have the Overflow.  
We are in your overflow  
Beside the hardship, the pressure. The moments that seem like a hallway.    
You are bringing us plenty  
You want us to be positioned.  

To be shown.

Nephty’s Prize and my deciding

Your dreams need you just as badly

What if your dreams needed you just as badly as you need them?  There's this remarkable way that to activate things and blessings has to do with you crushing on what you truly want.  
What if fixing your eye on something so good and big was the key to actually releasing that in your life? 

Beloveds, it's feeding our desires that lead us to our next breakthrough, that can open up the next glorified thing.  

I think it's waking up that urge, it's having that desire is the exact thing that draws abundantly & exceedingly above what you would ask for or think you deserve?
Grabbing a hold of a new vision for your life is the very thing that ushers in that new vision.
Do you have vision that is one-step past what seems possible or likely is actually the kind of vision you need to fix on to create that breakthrough.
And give yourself permission to want that thing, whatever that version is that would be inconceivable?  That would be such a blessing for your situation for you for your family.  *

So what do you want badly?  What would rock your world?

Because having this kind of desire, this kind of ache actually unloosens something in the heavens.
It’s that little slit of hope that  eleases a power in your life for increase
And overflow.

God does not want you to have an ordinary life. Or an average life.
God does not want you to feel stuck in surviving year-after-year.

I think God wants us to have an overflowing mindset. 
Because having an overflowing mindset unlocks the things that have felt on hold or mangled.

So it’s time to encounter something big that you want. 
God wants to release promises you have once felt and let go of,
promises that have felt on hold,
Dreams that used to keep you up at night and nourish you.
dreams that cherished in the Secret Place.

What are those promises that used to give you purpose
that you may now resent as life went otherwise,
and things haven’t shown up like you wanted?

God is repurposing everything that has gone down. 
Whether were the seasons that felt most messed up or in vain
And where has your life felt deficient or in lack?
So what has felt on hold?

God does not want you to have an ordinary life
An average life.

God wants you to encounter heaven. 

Poems are my Throne

It’s in poems where you let me reign,
And how I take my throne of Glory

It’s how you put me in my place,
Following Your pleasure.

And how you want me to remain,
Set on what you treasure.

Because in a poem
You have this way
of slipping in,
And taking what was weary.

Of hovering where things went thin,
And waiting up for us
until we get to enter in.   

Because just when we get over it, 
and right when we would draw the line,
Pull the curtain,
Call it done
 and walk resigned,
You come to pour us your new wine.

So in these poems
I will spend my days,
And in these stanzas
I take my seat.
So I can risk
where the world wants me to ration.
And I can return
what has been scattered.

Walking into Zion

Walking Into Zion

When my Beloved comes all the darkness goes away. 
when my Beloved gives me back my sheer thing. 
How heaven loves to come immediately,
and discouragement must flee. 
Now I'm walking towards it like Milk and honey,
Like a land that knows me.

My longing matters that what He's telling me.
My very desires He's placed there and retracing.
He's kneeling down in the dirt
and writing out my very things--
every corner I've exchanged. 
all the times I was unnamed,
All the unresponsive things,
the men that I wanted
and the dreams that I watered,
when my hope was as big as a mast,
Where I thought could win,
could heal what was shuttered,
could bear the twists that were harbored. 
Now His words go right there,
take me out from where I was pinned.  
Where I was fainting. 

Because He's returning me in verses--
the words that he likes to fill me with
can only let me in. 
And His wonder goes before me,
His promises can only please me
Now my looked over places that were drowning.
He's taking each one and he's crowning.
He's carrying every stone.  

So now I go line by line
I'm walking back into Zion.

And New Wine the Young Women

Right when I was at my edge, my max, my dread,
I went to Him
My Lord and My lover,
Like Rilke once said,
My unspeaking partner of my sorrow,

I said, Lord What am I to do?  What is my assignment?   He spoke this straight for me and for the women that I run with.  How faithful this is where I opened to in the Good Book,

"They will sparkle in his land, like Jewels in a crown.  
How attractive and beautiful they will be."  

He knows girls, how we want to be set. So if you feel pulled out, distraught or unlovely,
Please do what you need to sparkle in your land and in your language. 

I love the Lord's giddy Yeses, and how He loves to dress us

"Grain will make the young men thrive, nd New Wine the young women."

Dear Daughters of Zion, 
Whatever pulls you out, 
Don't stare down your fight. 
Wherever has you hold your breath,
or has kept you pinned.

It's time to Sparkle in the land that you've been given.  To drink the New Wine.

Here is the Lord's M.O.

Then the Lord will appear over them, his arrow will flash like lightning,
The Sovereign Lord will sound the trumpet. 
He will march in the storms of the South
and the Lord Almighty will shield them.
They will destory and overcome with slingshots.
They will drink and roar as with wine,
they will be full like a bowl used for sprinkling the corner of the altar.
The Lord their God will save them on that day
and the flock of his people.
They will sparkle in his land
Like Jewels in a crown.
How attractive and beautiful they will be be, 

Grain will make the young men thrive,
and new wine the young women. 
Zach 9:14-17

Finding the treasured Ones

Finding Jaimie, And the return of Maghen.   Finding Girls who love the Lord and trace the magic in the Kingdom.  Together we were tugging down heaven.  Heeding to everything unordinary.  

Making that huddle of girls like a bracelet around Maghen.  Back at the Glory house with familiar sisters and new. Telling Maghen how much we love her, adore her, need her. 

Jaimie released heaven. Told me to truly ask. We called down the Fire.  I asked for the pleasure of God.  I kept rejoicing till I got unstuck.

 Then, being in the middle of a throttled conversation with my old and new girlfriends.  
I was trying to lift the tired thing, this heavy thing.  To see through what was glaring.
And remind these women what was tender.  
And as each question pinned,
I kept looking for You my Gardener and the way you like to slip in.
and the trippy way you love to go about
wanting to trade us for the madness,
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
and give us a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

Going on mission for Maghen to get the Tattoo.  After all, it was You that once said 
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.
So we went in as women with one Lion too.  We swept in like the Lord's Editors amending that phrase that was about to be tattooed.  We knew we had to remove any small word that could lay hostile, that could return bitter.
We got past what was tense and the better phrase came through.  So the phrase "Jesus loves women" emerged and I pictured how whenever you hung with your crew, the women were there too.  How you love to lounge with us, To say Come to the table, and eat.  Hang out with me.  We prayed over the ink and all the promises.
We started to crack up in the tattoo parlor.  You marvel at our adventures and where we ask to go. You love to put us in foolish places sometimes. You want us Childlike in every cornered place. 

What's your renegade?

What puts you in that shower?  Where takes you in that joy exceeding?  
What makes you feel like a woman, so made and so possible, so potent and untouchable.
What makes you beam?
What makes you ready?
What makes you feel steady?

What are your inside jokes with the Lord?
What if you could have more triumph... More charge?  What if you could stay in that zone
Your zone of beauty and mercy.  

What if you could exchange what's not working in your life for what is working?

What if you could exchange?  Exchange the thing that keeps dragging.
The part of you that feels orphaned, kicked out.  Anywhere that you shrink back.

Girls, it's your time. The Lord is on your side.  He is so down with you.  He gets so overjoyed when you are on your jam.  When you strike that stride. Girls get on your renegade.  
Be that gem. .Go back in your joy. Rock in the things that make you feel set and gorgeous.
 

What if He had enough girls being careful?  What if he was good, and had plenty of girls getting things done and being extra helpful for everybody else.    What if now
He's telling you,
Pick up your Skirt and Walk

The Pitter Patter of the King

We stole away
because we wanted to hear from You, 
like You were humming this faint song behind us,
Like a seashell
Of promise,
With some familiar ring.
from some distant or pleasant land that reminded us of
A song we once knew or
memorized.  
And we started to feel like we were being followed

We said /let’s write/ /let’s ask/ 

Because we wanted to encounter You Lord,
We were drawn. 

And late that night
we read my poems
And it was like letting him wash us
And finding his sleeve
Letting him cast off
The heavier thing.

Letting Him lay down beside us. 
 
Just this awe of being felt
And being found by Him
our Beloved
Whose been waiting to enter in.

Together
We were laying down our things,
pulling garlands out of ashes.
Beauty from our battles.
Smoothing things that once were reckless,
Together taking new territory.

Reassigning.

We are putting an order back
So the things that unnamed us
can’t trespass.

Together we’re dividing and conquering.

Drafting each other.
Casting our nets and finding new splendor.